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IN PASSING

Get lucky, get plucky. Passing

 

— just passing through — not passing

Buck, or Chaz, or Lou

 

‘And how are you chookie?’

Was that a swing and a miss?

And was that miss, a Miss or a Mister

 

  — using pronoun he, she or ze?

(‘it’s okay, don’t be afraid to ask’).

Ze boy stood on the burning deck —

 

You know that boy. While you, cis

gendered, (not sissy) stammer LGBTIQ

and stutter — was that a boy!

 

Who put the T in el-gee-bee-tee-eye-queue

MtF / FtM

WTF it all happens here —

 

Did you say shave? Tracheal shave,

Now there’s a shave!

I’ve heard it all (well maybe not!)

 

Electrolysis, jaw re-contouring, lip lifts

Believe me all this costs.

What-ever!

 

Just give me the drugs

— make that HRT

Hormone Replacement The-rah-py

 

(Think about it – that’s not just transpeople).

 

So featherlight and fabulous

Let’s watch the naughty (but oh so nice)

Miss Victoria Sponge demonstrate how

 

at the ATSA & PFLAG Bake-Off

a moment on the lips is forever

on the hips.

 

Her ingredient list

medical, hormonal, guidance and support

And You think this is confusing!

 

Oven temperature? Time to consult a...

Medical practitioner, a therapist

perhaps  a conversion calculator?

 

On the burning deck cream together

the butter and sugar —  until

—  light and fluffy.

 

“You know luv, actually I’m not sure  

more like something in-between  

but with a male nose...”

 

It’s time to take the rhino out of rhinoplasty

to take Norma

Away from normative (she’s fabulous)

 

then peel off the wrapping and

if confused set aside 5 minutes

Dust liberally with icing sugar and enjoy.

 

And you chookie? How are you?

How are you enjoying life

at the trans gender BBQ!

 

(BTW

does the Q in BBQ stand for anything?...)

Go to Angela Gardner's profile to read more poems